Well... I'm quite bored really.

 

I woke up at 10.30 today, which is rather unheard of, after dreaming about being the hotel inspector, and some nasty woman in a boat making me fall in some rather cold and yukky-looking water. I decided that there was little point laying in bed all day, so I got myself up, dressing-gowned and made a crumpet and pringles for breakfast. Yes. Healthy. And here I am.

 

I met Simon on the Sims today whilst I was going to greet Richard, my long lost ex-housemate. I tried to be chummy with him, but he was having none of it. Just yawned at my jokes and rejected my shows of affectionate appreciation. He came into my house though, naturally. Stole a swim in my pool and watched my flatscreen while I cleaned up plates. Cheeky so n so.

 

And that, in a nutshell, is my life.

 

Aside from yesterday, which was just really very odd. A certain person saw fit to ask me to get back with him after THREE YEARS of telling me to bugger off, to which the answer, of course, was no. Just so you may all breathe a sigh of relief. An ironic twist of events though, for sure. Everybody wants the Emma really. Emma doesn't want everybody though. No whoring for me. :D

 

No working either. Or anything really. I wish I had some doors to paint.

 

Right, lets go find a book. Have a lovely Thursday!

 

xXx

 

So, end of David. Oh yes. Fresh start - fresh blog and all that jazz.

 

Plus I've had an unholy number of people discovering this ole dusty thing and leaving me lovely comments, so I thought I should give y'all a quick update. Don't get too excited though, my life is dull and uninspiring.

 

Right, France. Paris to be exact. Have you been there? I have. It's certainly not very British. For starters they don't stop their cars at red lights. And they have an overwhelming obsession with bread and scooters. And they seem to like dust quite alot. No grass for the French. Who wants wildlife when you can get dust in your sandals?

 

There was also the unavoidable problem of language. For some reason the French insist on speaking some kind of crazed gobbledegook, and as a result of my French-speaking compadre I felt compelled to attempt to join in with the bumbled conversing. However, as expected, I could only ever manage a demure 'bonjour', 'merci' and 'au revoir' before feeling like a complete prat. Sean, meanwhile, chattered away happily, whilst I battled to maintain my composure in fear that some Parisian might pounce on me and rattle something off, leaving me standing bemused and panicked like a proud rabbit in the headlights of bi-lingual failure.

 

Once I got past that though, and established my role as the irritatingly stubborn and prudish British tourist, France was really quite alright. MAny a pretty thing to be seen and done. I spent many an hour trudging around the Louvre trying to find some kind of deep-felt artistic appreciation. However, to be honest, I don't really understand quite what it is which makes the Mona Lisa so much better than anything else ever painted. It was all rather samey, naked ladies and pictures of Jesus. I think I can only really appreciate in reflection that hundreds of years ago great and famous revolutionists sat in front of them, carefully applying paint/chipping marble.

 

The Eiffel tower was rather awe-inspiring though. All the way to the top for me, surpressing pussy height-fears with the knowledge that I had paid good money to experience Paris and I was bloody well going to do it. So yes, hour long queues aside, we waited patiently and were eventually whisked up to the top for a mere 11 euros (F knows what that is in REAL money) where many a picture was taken, particularly of the seine, and we both relieved ourselves in the mile-high restrooms.

 

All in all a worthwhile venture.

 

Now it only remains for me to stick the pictures and general collected bits and bobs into my travel scrapbook and work out how I can get to America and back for £1000.

 

Happy Sunday everybody.

 

There are LOTS of fish. Lots and lots and lots. I'm thinking at least 50. AND I just saved another one from almost certain injestion by it's one of it's parents, thus boosting my brood to 51+.

 

I don't think I KNOW that many names.

 

Anyway, enough about fish. As you've probably guessed, I didn't die in a train crash, and am now home, in my extremely and atypically blue room, wondering what on Earth i can do to waste away my hours until the more normal bedtime of 2am. For the moment blogging is winning. Then I'm thinking reading... maybe watching my fry (yes, that's what they call baby fish - how brutally Ironic) flit about randomly eating the iddy biddy particles of whatever...and then, I dunno, maybe another blog. One can but hope.

 

Just to go through the motions, yes, coming home was fine. Surprisingly short. Although the 25 minutes I had to wait for Sean to finish school felt like a small eternity, especially since I kept getting 'who the hell is that and what is she doing standing in the coridor drinking a bottle of water' looks from some very small, presumably year 7's. Not that it matter's what year they were. They all meld into one big mass of noisey blazers of varying heights, widths and levels of annoyingness from year 7 to 10. And then you can only tell the year 11's apart from their Sense of extreme authority and CGP revision guides. Yes, so, that was fun. As was getting to Romford to find that I had in fact travelled illegally from Stratford and was liable for a £20 fine. However, my total shock and willingness to try to get out of the station with the wrong Oyster whatever probably let me off, and I paid a mere £3, which was still inconvenient, but less expensively so.

 

Anywho, I think I have just about resolved to the fact that I MUST make some sort of attempt to lose the irritating amount of weight I've put on since September, and thus I think from this day forward chocolate and cakes and whatever other rubbish I fill myself with on a daily basis MUST be restricted. Salad should increase in relation to the fall in junk, and water should become an appetising prospect, as must walking or any sort of physical exertion.

 

Right, thats about all I have to say. Fare ye well.

 

Last night I didn't sleep. Last night I couldn't sleep. Last night I lay alone on my bed with my hands over my ears trying to ignore the people loctaed either above or below my head who thought it fun to run up and down corridors and laugh and shout at each other till half past five in the morning. At which point, to my knowledge, they did not shut up. It was on looking at the clock to fnid I had 4 and a half hours left to get some sort of sleep, that I picked up my duvet, pillows and phone, vacated my room and went to go sleep on the sofa in the tv room, which was remarkable difficult, since there was a light which I could not turn off pretty much directly above the sofa.

 

I was not amused.

 

However, upon reflection, just before I left in a huff they were chanting, at the top of their voices, "Having fun isn't hard... When you've got a library card", like some strange community-educated cult. That's quite amusing at the moment. Although I doubt it will be quite so when I'm falling asleep in my lecture tonight. But never mind, at least I'm not hitting things and shouting obscenities at the wall anymore.

 

I had my favourite lecturer today, well, 2nd favourite after Duco. This one's a Marcus something, very clever, yet very amusing also. He taught me about Marlowe. Well, he tried. I semi-listened whilst writing a list of names for my fish.

 

And now I'm in the Cafe, having eaten a bagel and some carrot cake, and downed a cup of hot chocolate. Oh the life of a student.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is a good day.

 

'Whyfore?' I hear you cry in earnest intrigue and impatience.

 

Well, there are a variety of reasons.

 

Firstly I still have my 4 fish, plus another 12 or so. This is a wonderful miracle, yet slightly worrying, since fish grow and tanks don't. But we shall solve that problem when we get there. Until which time we can play names. Here's the list so far, with a little help from my forum chums:

 

1 - Gertrude (as chosen by Voivod, since his fish are all dying)
2 - Marlowe (Renaissance poet. Apparently a genius. I think he sucks. But he has a nice name.)
3 - Shakespeare (The real Don of the Renaissance. Geeniemoose.)
4 - Sidney (Pain in the arse poet and critic. Wrote a big poem about crossdressing)
5 - Spenser (Revolutionary poet with good intentions, but stupidly long-winded and complex)
6 - Leander (the guy from Marlowes 'Hero and Leander'. an Epyllion I had to read.)
7 - Adonis (From Shakespeare's rather wonderful 'Venus and Adois'. Another Epyllion I had to read, but actually read, enjoyed and quoted in my journal.)
8 - Mortimer
9 - Wanda (Naturally. Made me giggle that did.)
10 - Chips (BRILLIANT)
11 - Biggles (Mc Fishstick)
12 - Baldrick
13 -
14 -
15 -
16 -

4 more to go.

 

Secondly I handed in my last essay due before Easter at EXACTLY 12pm today. Not only is this a wonderous tale of great timing which I shall repeat to everyone I see today, but it also represents the beginning of at least 2 weeks, during which time I have NOTHING education-related looming over my head. HUZZUH! To top that fun off, even though he's not technically allowed to due to the action short of strike, my Lit Prac tutor gave me my essay back, without marks mind you, but all the comments on it were good. I win.

 

I also stepped through the door home today ten or so minutes before the rain came pelting down and turned Sheffield into a large pond. but I am not a fish in it. I'm happy and dry in my little room. Another masterpiece of timing.

 

I recently descovered the wonders of blending milk to produce miles of frothy goodness, and, whilst watching the rain and giggling at those in it, indulged in possibly the BEST hot chocolate of ALL TIME.

 

And finally, today I got one up on the codeword puzzle, which decided that the word 'Snib' exists, when it very clearly does not. Somebody somewhere does not know their vowels.

 

But my Dad is still reading my blog,

 

this is not a good thing.

 

Nobody's noticed that I've updated.

 

Oh well, it shall be a surprise.

 

Today it rained. I'm glad we got that one out of the way.

 

I'm going to go poke aaron with pointy things later, and then go to a party of somebody I don't know.

 

all in all a wonderful afternoon of work evasion.

 

Firstly, and most importantly, I would like the world to know that I am now a proud grandmother to AT LEAST 4 ikkle baby fishies. That's right, the survivors of yesteryear, Jake and Jengo, are now proud parents! I'm far too excited for words. i can't wait till they get their colours and I can name them.

 

Speaking of which, their names are a very fluid concept at the moment, apart from one lucky fish who shall be christened Gertrude, thanks to Adam, or the voivod, as some may know him. Apart from that I'm rather open to suggestions. At the moment I'm thinking great literary figures of the Renaissance period, to help ease the pain which is my literature course at the moment. Perhaps Shakespeare, Marlowe and Wyatt. Maybe Spenser? yay or nay?

 

Anyway, that doesn't matter overly much, since they're going to be little black blobs for the next couple of months.

 

Back to topic, and thus begins a rant about train tickets. I SWEAR they don't want me to go anywhere. It took me the best part of an hour, if not more to sort out that craziness. £50something for a return ticket?! I think not! So ensued many fun minutes of working out how much it would be to buy two singles, then if it would be cheaper to just go to london and then make full use of my oyster card. I finally settled on a £24 pair of tickets, sorted out the billing address, mailing address rubbish only to find out that they don't accept electron. What foolishness is this?! So NOW I have to sort out my accounts, since I had to pay using my overdraft which currently lives in my non-electron card.

 

I am UNamused.

 

ALSO today I DRAGGED myself out of bed at 8am, despite having 5 hours sleep and debating whether or not to just turn off the alarm, got dressed, grabbed some toast, practically ran to uni only to find that not only had the lecture been cancelled, but they'd sent me an email to tell me this, not last night when I could have adapted my life, but this morning 5 seconds before I ran out of the door. What use is that? Scalliwags! I then had 3 hours to blow before my lit lecture, which was inhumanly dull and pointless.

 

But it's all alright, because I have baby fish.

 

:D

 

Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you

'cos all that's left is gone away and there's nothing there for you to do.

Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of everyone

Oh, well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won.

Oh, look what you've done, you've made a fool of everyone.

 

 

I wonder how he is.

 

 

That bore no relevance to the above lyrics by the way. they just happen to be swimming around in my head this evening and making me mildly dismal. Hense the wondering. So I suppose they are connected. Indirectly.

 

Ho hum.

 

No lectures for me tomorrow. I'm taking an optional one-day-holiday, since I haven't, and currently have no intention of reading what I'm supposed to have read. At least, not by tomorrow. So I shall spend the day reading the epic which I have around 9 days left to write yet another essay on, before they give me another one.

 

I shan't be running away this weekend either, unless I can find another companion.

 

There goes that plan.

 

Alas, such is life.

There are no Tutti Fruttis.

 

There are also no sandwich bags.

 

But THIS is not the point.

 

Hello and welcome to your christmas blog at Emmaland. I thought the place might appreciate an update. So anyway, on with my day.

 

This morning I woke up to find that yes, I was still alive, yes that WAS my alarm, and yes, unfortunatly I did have to be in a lecture by 9am. I wasn't though. A ten minute late start down the road after choosing the less hilly route had me powerwlking it past about a million annoyingly slow student threesomes, yet still i arrived 5 minutes late. not that it mattered overly much.

 

During my hour long break I found myself a free bottle of water, a cheep hot chocolate, and a chicken tikka sandwich, which was surprisingly scrummy.

 

Then there was Lit, which provided me with a pleasent lecture from Duco van Oostrum (yes, that IS his name) about the online library, and then I set off home...

 

At first. But then I somehow ended up in the union shop, and found, not just fairy lights, but 50 pence henna powder.

 

And did i buy it? Yes I did.

Did I make it into paste, yes I did

Do I now look like i have some strange orange rash all over my hand? Of COURSE I do.

 

Henna and I have a funny relationship. I think it's an addiction. All sense of self-constraint and pride fly out of the window and I happily scar myself for 6 weeks with random splodges of orangey-brown.

 

I can't help it.

 

I also had a rather lovely conversation with James of Costcutter today, and discovered that there were, infact, no sandwich bags and no tutti fruttis. Much to my dismay.

 

However, they did have starburst.

 

Have a happy Christmas.

 

xXx

 

The day has come.

 

It is time to bid you all farewell and leave my beloved blog to gather dust amoungst the msn archives.

 

You may well have noticed, if anybody still bothers to read this, other than Phill and my Dad, that not only are my writings becoming more and more sporadic, but their quality is somewhat lacking, since I have little time to sit down and actually focus on writing them. But fret not, revel in pondering through my archives and re-live the good times.

 

And who knows, Maybe some day I'll start up again.

 

Until then, This is Emma... Signing off

 

 

Why oh why does pomegranate turn you fingers yellow?

And why are barred chords so difficult to play?

Why do so many songs contain barred chords?

Why does the wind blow so hard when i've just straightened my hair?

Why do i have a cold despite the amount of vitamin C I inject into my body via numerous glasses of Orange juice? Why doesn't the hill ever get any smaller?

Why are my lectures so far away?

Why will nobody employ me?

Why don't i have a car?

Why does somebody in my halls have a porche?

Why do the kitchen staff make fry up's every day?

Why can't i resist their greasy goodness?

Why don't any of the pretty men talk to me?

Where IS that yummy half naked Irishman?

Who is the guy with the long hair and pretty eyes i keep seeing?

Has Tony ever had a girlfriend in his life?

Where are the rest of my birthday cards?

When is Sean coming to see me?

Why won't Dave come and see me?

Why do i even carethat Dave won't come and see me?

Why can't i download Chris' songs?

Where have all my tissues gone?

Yesterday was brillient.

 

Not ONLY did I get post, BUT after I came back from town, where I bought a trio of Dvd's (Jonny English, Love Actually and something else I can't remember at the moment) and some Lush products, I found that I had been sent flowers!!! YAAAAY!!! From my aunt though, no yummy males interested in ME lately.

 

After all that flowery fun, the girls and I clambered to the top of the merciless bitch of a hill in our high heels, and FINALLY flagged down a 6-person taxi to Nandos. Here beginnith the best part of the night. The food itself was pretty darned amazing, but after the chickenfest I was about to order some never-ending frozen yoghurt when I was told to sit down and relax as it was my birthday, and Cathy and Kirsty went to go order. Hmph, I thought, as I wanted to do the putting the yoghurt in the bowl thing. Anyway, they came back and told me they were out of bowls but would bring one over in a minute. So there i was, eagerly awaiting a bowl, when round the corner comes a woman with a candle-covered, all a blazing chocolate cake!!! And they sang to me! That put me in awe enought, but after I'd blown out the candles and made a fool of myself on camera they brought me presents in bags! Lush stuff, a piggy bank AND A MONKEY CALLED PEANUT!!!! Most definatly the BEST monkey in my room, and probably secondly only in the world to Mr. Cool.

 

it turned out that my friends had been being terribly sneeky. Nici told me she was going to find out where buildings were in her car with Kirsty, when in FACT they were going to take my stuff to Nandos. And Sim and Kirsty said they were going to Tesco, and thus couldnt come to the fresher's fair with me, when they were going to buy me a cake and my monkey (who is the 5th monkey from '5 little monkeys' the 'song')

 

thus is the niceness of my new chums

 

OH!!! and BEFORE that, I stepped into my room, only to step directly onto another card from a girl on my corridor I'd never even met! She'd seen the balloon and banners on my door and bought me a birthday card. How lovely. I do so like people.

 

So, yesterday was brillient.

 

Today hasn't been bad either.

 

Went to IKEA, bought much, brought it home and made my room look amazing. Well... less pants. There are now some decent curtains, a covered desk and a corner lamp! Hurruh!!! oh, and some throws and a rug. Much improved.